Tainted
From Star Pirates Wiki
A pirate who thrived on chaos, infuriates his enemies and made a mockery of any attempt to rein him in, Tainted was perhaps the single most notorious pirate in all the Solar System before his untimely demise at the hands of the united Admin Corps.
History
Tainted started out life as any other pirate, with nothing but a Sloop and a Laser Beam to his name, though he very quickly catapulted himself onto the Star Pirates stage at large. First recruited by the Dare Devils, Tainted soon drew the wrath of the great Phoenix upon them with his early raiding attempts, a feat that would soon characterise his playstyle.
Soon, finding the Dare Devils neither daring nor devilish and tiring of their languid lifestyle, Tainted jumped ship and applied to join the then-unknown Brethren of Chaos. Passing the gruelling and bewildering entry exams, he soon proved himself as the very epitome of piratehood even in that distinguished company.
Eventually, after learning as much as he could from the Brethren of Chaos and Rule, Tainted began to have his doubts about remaining in that brotherhood. In his view, the Brethren were beginning to distance themselves from the very attitude and antics which had made them what they were, instead focusing on growing strong and ruling. It wasn't long before Tainted stole away one dark Neptunian night, more than a few cases of rum from the Brethren stash weighing down his ship.
Since then, Tainted has toyed with all aspects of Star Pirate life, joining many fleets, running his own training academy, captaining a loveboat and participating in several wars. Through it all, the only constants have remained his devil-may-care attitude and his complete and utter devotion to liberating cargo from any that he meets.
Tainted resided for a time within the Erisian Exiles, a fleet he co-founded with Qilapid.
As of June 1st, 1100 server time, Tainted is banned from Star Pirates, for reasons unknown. He was initially frozen at his own request. Details will not be forthcoming. His zealot refuses to speak on the matter.
AAB has since clarified the matter, saying that Tainted was banned in an epic three day stand-off in which the regenabots were kept busy constantly reviving the many mods who fell in the battle against his army of Dingo Cyborgs outside his Pretty Pink Pony Palace of Terror. It was in this fateful campaign that the enigmatic Coba met his demise, while even the Admins themselves were sorely tested in the duel with the Captain himself. The Banhammer is said to be corrupted from that day, no longer the mighty weapon it once was.
It is rumored that he still haunts this wiki, from time to time
Raiding
Tainted was famed for his raiding ability, completely dominating the Raiding HoF for the first three weeks. After achieving 50mil raided cargo in record time (More than twice that of his nearest competitor), he gave up on the Hall of Fame as "Too easy," claiming a desire for a challenge. Some weeks later, Kerravyn and Paul managed to overtake his total. The Star Pirates community eagerly awaited Tainted's response, only to awake one morning to his deserted ship and a grim-faced community.
Considered unequalled in his raiding prowess, Tainted's victims would often fill the shoutbox with yells of "I only had that cargo out for 3 seconds!" to which one of the many SP regulars would reply, "That's about 2 and a half seconds too long." Tainted was a sight any free captain moving cargo had quickly learned to fear.
Ships
In his time as a free Captain of the Solar System, Tainted piloted many vessels. He owned three Warship Mk IVs, as well as several Warship Mk IIs.
Through it all, Tainted has often been said to prefer the cozy cockpit of a simple sloop. Once realising his dream of owning his very own Pulsar Beam, he immediately installed it onto a Sloop Mk I, christened the Super Sloop. He then upgraded to a Sloop Mk V, installing a Laser Beam and a Class I Shield to earn the name The Really Super Sloop. He eventually returned to a Sloop Mk II, defying the laws of nature by installing both a Pulsar Beam and a Plasma Cannon on its tiny hull.
Following his disappearance, the Really Super Sloop has floated in Pluto's orbit, cold and unremarkable. Recently, however, some pirates claim to have seen the ship moving, most notably Raithen and Kerravyn.
Documented Ship Names:
The UnSinkable II
Pretty Rainbow Space Ponies
Free Spirit
Whimsy
Shattered Dreams
Not so Super Sloop
Super Sloop
Really Super Sloop
Fleets
Tainted has also been the driving force behind a number of fleets.
- Gone Fishin'
- Perhaps the most famous of all Tainted's endeavour, this was a rogue fleet the likes of which has never been seen in the universe again. Initially a mere placeholder while the dashing captain voyaged afar, it soon grew into a legend in its own right.
- Tainted's Teachings
- Tainted's Teachings was Tainted's first attempt at creating a real fleet of his own. Intended as an academy of villainy and chaos, it lasted for a few enjoyable months before Tainted went mad with the pressure of being stuck in one place for so long. He disbanded the fleet without warning, scattering his students across the Solar System. Some continue to make him proud to this day.
- Tainted's Loveboat
- As something of a holiday from the tiring work of pillaging and plundering, Tainted once converted his warship to a cruise-liner, filled it with beautiful maidens and took them for a pleasurable sight-seeing voyage across the galaxy. After surviving some small mayhem in the form of a murder mystery, Tainted flew the loveboat into the sun after Zibs and Kerr soiled many rooms. Unfortunately for our favourite scoundrel, the beautiful maidens still aboard never forgave Tainted for forgetting to drop them off first.
Impact
Tainted, as one of the more high profile pirates with what can only be described as a unique playstyle, has had an impact upon the fabric of Star Pirates as a whole.
- It is almost entirely due to him that singing in the shoutbox is now banned.
- He has been solely responsible for sending several high level players off the deep end.
- Raiding as a career choice has become increasingly high profile and popular since he has brought it into the public eye.
- He helped pioneer the idea that shipyarding was no barrier to fun and creative play, a philosophy now adopted by the community at large.
- Personally responsible for the training of many young pirates, as well as tainting several others, Star Pirates is now a very different game to the one he joined all those months ago.
- Partly due to his exploits as well as those he has inspired, pirates everywhere now regard moving cargo outside the Shipyard as nothing more than financial suicide.
- Either Directly or indirectly created the slang term Ponies
Other Links
Tainted's Tales
Tainted's Angry PMs and Amusing Anecdotes
